| | for weeks now i've been intending to make my xanga come-back with an insightful post about why i hate the word "religious," and reference to what i've been studying in jeremiah <EXCELLENT book by the way. love the presence of both God's holy wrath and merciful heart for His people. and the ever present hint of the gospel>. unfortunately, the summer plague of procrastination has hit me and i've lost all motivation to blog about my original epiphanies.
thus it seemed fitting to instead blog about the struggles that summertime brings. i've decided to make it bullet point so i remember what i've covered and prevent myself from rambling.
1. summertime is the most difficult and confusing season. why? because you spend all school year anticipating it, and after a week or two, you become sick of it.
2. summertime is the time where you make all these goals and new hobbies you want to accomplish, yet somehow never find the time to do them or complete them because you're too busy doing...nothing. somehow the knowledge of knowing you'll have plenty of time to do things prevents you from actually doing it.
3. last summer, i went crazy having too little to do. this summer, i'm going slightly crazy having too much to do. i somehow always miss the middle road of sanity.
4. summertime is when i have time to sit and reflect on where my life is going. instead of constantly studying and involving myself in school activities, i finally get to sit and have "oh crap. what am i doing with my life?" running through my mind 24/7, inciting further panic and stress about what to do for the next two years of college and how to prepare for medical school. originally was going to take the mcats this summer, but i don't think i have the motivation or diligence to prepare for it in time.
5. summer is also when i assume i have plenty of time to commit to more activities, eventually overcomitting myself <as usual> and getting lectures from my parents about becoming more focused and sacrificing priorities, for more important priorities. but it's hard when all my priorities are ones that i think are unable to be compromised.
6. most importantly, i think my spiritual life suffers the most during the summer. no longer am i constantly surrounded by accountability, no longer am i getting fed as much as i did in school, and no longer am i having people who live around me push me to have a gospel-centered heart. in the summer, the balance once again tips towards me serving more, instead of being served more, resulting in a sense of false spiritual security and justification for not spending enough personal time with God. i have to say, preparing for missions is also tougher when i'm not going with a team that i'm familiar with, and one that i can meet up with weekly to lift up the country and trip in prayer.
but despite all these things that summertime brings, I think God has definitely shown me that He never changes no matter the season. He's shown up EVERYWHERE, even in my volunteer work. i've been blessed to meet a new Christian who has accepted Christ in the hospital as his life became endangered and his fears took over his mind. The first day I met him, we had such a good conversation as he shared his struggles and his testimony. As I stood there and prayed for him, and watched these tears come out of a strong man's eyes, I knew that God put me on that nursing floor for a reason. Even if I didn't get to see anything cool, even if I wasn't impressing the doctors or nurses, I knew that God put me there to encourage and support that man. For the past few days I've seen him obtain more joy and hope and a hunger for the Word, as he eagerly awaits his departure from the hospital so he can prove to his wife and kids what a Christian man is like. I love that his new neighbor is also a Christian, and that between us three I can sense the Spirit just moving and transforming lives. I love that his neighbor, who has been inflicted with numerous illnesses and also found God on a hospital bed, spent an hour today evangelizing to the other volunteer. Watching those two men and everything that they're going through has blessed me IMMENSELY. the mission field is wherever I go, and God saves and uses whoever He chooses.
God is good.
ALL the time.
even summertime.
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| | Posted 6/28/2009 1:05 AM - 7 Views - 4 eProps - 2 comments
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